Blind date.

They say labour is the only blind date where you know you will meet the love of your life. But I was never one of you lucky mommies who had pain-free and/or short labour. All three of mine were painful, and definitely not short. The third one though, maybe because of past experiences, was more bearable and peaceful compared to the first two. 

My first experience was the worst, with Hadi being overdue for 10 days, then I was induced and suffice to say, the pain was the greatest I have ever experienced in my life. After what felt like 34 hours of pain, I asked for epidural and I thanked God for whoever invented it. Oh it didn’t stop there. After maybe an hour or two, I felt the pain again and the anesthetist had to be called in the middle of the night to top up my dosage. Why did my baby hate me so much? (He is obsessed with me now though) After a long non progressing labour, I had to go through an emergency c-section. They had to put me completely to sleep because even after topping up my epi yet again, I could still feel the slice of the knife. LOL. What was wrong with me?! It took me 1 hour to wake up from my “sleep” and the nurse was already getting worried. Then Hadi had wet lung due to the long labour and had to stay in the hospital for 5 days. I guess this is partly the reason it took me many years to finally be ready for the second child. 

Noah’s one was relatively better. But I went to the maternity clinic emergency too early because my contraction was getting worse and I was feeling scared, but the cervix opening was not progressing. It was only 2cm when I arrived but I had to be warded immediately after the midwife saw the CTG result. I had to stay with 7 other mothers in the same ward (it was a full house that night), with ¾ of them basically screaming and cringing and whining in pain the whole night long. Kau dahlah sakit, kau kena dengar orang lain punya sakit, macam nak gila rasanya. I kept going to the toilet for some peace and I remember banging my head on the toilet wall so many times because the labour pain and all the screaming were driving me crazy. Subuh came and I was only 5cm dilated so the husband left for home to freshen up but what do you know, the progress suddenly sped up and by 7 or so, Noah came into this world, via VBAC. 

With Saif, I stayed home at MIL's the whole night even when I was already feeling the painful contraction starting. I timed my contraction using the contraction timer app on my phone, danced and swayed and layan my contraction all by myself in the comfort of familiar, quiet place. It was very painful but at least it was peaceful. Subuh came and I told the husband it was time for us to go to the hospital and by the time we reached there, I was already 7cm dilated. I was already out of energy by the time I was fully dilated because I didn’t have my dinner and breakfast but thankfully all was well. 

I don’t know if it gets better with each labour but I think you could handle your body better, maybe? But pain free has never been in my book although I am really hoping this time around it will be less painful and quicker, oh please Allah let it be fast and fun. 35 more days to go and I am so torn between “Oh God I am so anxious and nervous to go through labour again and be a mother of four” VS “I am so tired yet excited, let’s just get this over with, I can’t wait to see my baby.” Pregnant women emotion is so hay-wire.

SUPER HUGE AND TIRED AND FEELING BLEURGH.