Mini harem.

"Perhaps all women live with a mini harem inside and the discrepancy, tension and hard-achieved harmony 
among our conflicting selves is what really makes us ourselves." 

I bought this book in a quaint little shop in Taksim, Istanbul selling old books, old maps and antiques, and books by local authors. The scent of the shop is intoxicating but that's another story. 

This is not the kind of book you can read in one go. It is still a work in progress for me but I do enjoy her writing. Elif Shafak was once one of those feminists; hugely independent and never in her adult life has imagined herself as a mother. Then she fell in love and got pregnant. I looooove how she explores the raw emotion of a new mother. Of how a kid would change your life, your freedom and ambition. How can you write when there's a little person who depends on you, needing and whining and clinging on to you? How do you go back to the carefree, smart woman you once were? 

You won't, I guess. You will grow. You will grow to be better, you will gain maturity and new strength. You will be happier, or maybe not, depending on your own action and reaction. But you will never be the same woman you were once before. 

I love how she questions the way society treats women & there is a story she told of a very talented poet, who could almost be as good as Rumi but one day, she got her period and boom, she became "just a lady". And a lady should not have an ambition, she should stay low and wait for someone to ask for her hand in marriage and be a child bearer. So this forgotten poet got married, had kids and her poems and poetry simply withered away. It is heart breaking, really. 

I also love how Elif wrote about Anais Nin and her infamous maids that Anais writes a lot about. How the maids were the reason Anais ever had the time she had to write and be succesful. But did the maids themselves have no other ambition and dreams? Could they have become famous and succesful too if they were given the chance? 

I am thankful for my helper as she is the reason I get to sometimes play lawyer, do my craft, go on dates with my husband and have a life outside of being a mommy. I used to have no such help and trust me when I say having a good, reliable helper will drastically change your life in a very good way. But I do wonder if Yun would prefer being a rich man's wife or a singer (she sings a lot) or maybe a lawyer herself (she was a cigarette factory worker before). Of course she would! But our mission in life is to be the best version of ourselves, to make the world around us a better place. She becoming a good helper gives meaning and assistance to our family and in return, we help to provide for her daughters' education and thus, better future. 

How wonderful are the mini harems with all its different mini voices inside us.