Of do's and don'ts.

I have graduated from my ‘pantang school’ for about a week or so, although not with flying colours I must say. Since the last time I wrote, I have entered into late thirties, tsskk, my husband and I turned ten, and I have been freed from my confinement period, yeay.

If you adhere to your postnatal confinement strictly, good for you. As a mother of four with three older kids, I cannot afford to do so, for my kids’ sake but mostly for my own sanity. LOL. Seriously, I am sure I'd go crazy. Malay postpartum pantang is good, if done in moderation. I do not agree 100% with the do’s and don’ts, but for most part, it is good. They are designed to help your body heal faster and relax, after having gone through such major transformation and what nots during pregnancy. I do what I can, I choose those pantang larang that I believe in, and that’s that. It helped that both my mother and my late mother in law are very lenient when it comes to this as well, although this time around I was mostly on my own.

I just don’t get it when people start to condemn others who choose not to observe pantang strictly. You don’t want to go out even an inch from the comfort of your house? Then do it your way. I choose to go out for coffee once in a while for my sanity and it helps me be a better, happier mom. We can all do it our way and celebrate our differences. She silang kaki, the other she terbaring lurus. She masak every day for her family’s sake, the other she just lepak watch TV. She carries her older kids, the other she wouldn’t even lift a plate. She basuh her hair, the other she just use dry shampoo. She minum lotsa water for hydration and milk supply, the other she limits her water intake to avoid bloating. As long as your way does not give negative impact to you or your baby, YOU DO YOU.

This I wrote after reading some comments on one celebrity’s social media account. Poor lady couldn’t be left alone, every single thing she does after giving birth was scrutinized. Why silang kaki? Why go out so soon? Why isn’t the baby clothed? Isn’t it too soon for sauna? Is the aircond on? Why are you putting on make-up? Good God, some people can be so penyibuk, I tell you. Do you not have your own family to care for?

I may not observe my pantang strictly to get a distinction but alhamdulillah, I am feeling healthy, I have lost all the weight I gained during pregnancy and I hope to lose more after I resume my cycling, and most importantly, I am feeling good. 

So mommies who just gave birth, choose what is good for you, drink lots of water, eat good pantang food and fruits, get a good masseuse, let the Klinik Kesihatan nurses come over and do their work, and spend your free vacation time to enjoy your baby and your kids; YOU DO YOU, okay? Have fun berpantang!

36 year old mother of four, 48 days postpartum. 

Feeling awesome, alhamdulillah.

What's in my hospital bag?

Last weekend I finally got my lazy bum to finish packing for the hospital blind date with the baby in my tummy. Funny how it is my fourth baby and I still had to google on what should I pack for my bag and the baby’s. If you’re a first time mommy, it is better to read up on experienced mommies’ tips and tricks, because not everything that the book says you must pack, you should.

So when is the right time to pack your hospital bag? Basically, if your pregnancy has no medical issues, the ideal time is from maybe the 35^th week of your pregnancy. You can always pack sooner of course, it is totally up to you. But don’t do it past 38^th week, you'd want to have the bag ready for your peace of mind.

HOSPITAL BAG CHECKLIST FOR MOMMIES & BABIES:

I have listed above, the essential stuffs I think you should pack for both you and your baby. You can always add other stuffs for your peace of mind; like the Quran, magazines or novels, aromatherapy if you’re into that stuff, mini fan, snacks and what nots. Hospital stays for vaginal delivery is usually 1-2 days on average but c-section delivery will usually require you to stay longer. So set aside some extra clothing and what not at home, just in case you need to stay at the hospital longer. Because if your spouse is like mine, he will never find any of my stuffs if he had to, even if his life counts on it. LOL. 

Good luck to us delivering soon, mommies!

Whatever makes me happy sets you free.

Listen up guys, we women are not that complicated. I mean, maybe some are (I just can’t brain people who claim they hate dramas but create dramas of their own, but that’s for another post maybe) Kau ingat your wife memang suka muram mencuka bila jumpa kau balik dari kerja? Kau ingat memang your girlfriend sejenis merajuk tak tentu hala? Most people, secara fitrahnya tidak sebegitu. Keletihan, kelaparan, kekurangan kasih sayang; are among the most popular factors yang menjadikan perempuan-perempuan dalam hidup kau tidak happy! So what do they need from you? Most normal / borderline-normal women are not that difficult to understand. We may not understand our own emotion / needs sometimes, but mostly what we want in a relationship are simple. And by WE, I mean normal / borderline-normal women; drama queens don’t count. 

SOME ATTENTION. We do not need our men to check on us 24/7 or spend time with us every waking hours of your day, and we especially don’t need our men to meddle in every aspects of our lives. But we do need some attention every day. Maybe a phone call checking whether we have safely arrived home / whether we have eaten / which of our three kids are annoying us the most. A quick brunch / tea break together. An hour of sambang-sembang before bedtime. Because we like (and need) to share about our days, and for SAHM / WFHM especially, we crave that adult conversation that doesn’t involve yelling or cartoons or homework. It is essential for our mental health. 

RESPECT. You don’t have to agree with everything we say, that’d make you boring. But it feels good when you value our opinions and decisions. A good relationship should be a safe place where we can always share our ideas and thoughts without being judged. One should first be respectful to be respected! 

ME TIME. This is especially for us mothers. Some find this selfish but I believe that we have to take care of ourselves for us to be able to take care of others. You cannot pour from an empty jar! Boleh gila tahu tak? For some lucky girls, this may mean tai tai life of coffee with friends followed by a day of pampering at our favourite spa, but for normal everyday women, me time could be as simple as some uninterrupted time for showering / morning coffee / reading / working out / nap; whatever that tickles our fancy. Special shout out to hands-on dads / dads providing helpers for your wives; you guys rock! 

GOOD FOOD. We need food. It differs what kind of food we need. But for most women and mothers especially, good, fancy caffeine will do. And maybe some cake. Lack of sleep and empty tummy is a very dangerous combination. Feed us well and we shall be happy. 

CONVERSATION AND LAUGHTER. Because how can you not stay in love with a man who treats you as his best friend and make you laugh every day? 

You can always add on more materialistic thingamijg like new handbags, winter holiday, head to toe massage, shopping spree etc etc to the list, LOL, but there you have it, our basic necessities in a relationship. The list could of course be more exhaustive for others, because we’re not made from the same mould, but you just can’t go wrong with the one above. We’re mostly not that crazy.

In sickness and in health.

The firstborn caught a nasty bug at drama workshop recently and had to skip school. Poor baby but he looked just fine when he gets to stay home and watch TV. Typical! LOL. In this one I am gonna share what to do if your kid fell sick - this is not in any way a medical advice, merely a tips from one mommy to another. 

What to do if you child caught a fever?

First of all, DO NOT PANIC. As a young mommy-of-one, I panicked a lot. Three sneezes was all it takes for me to take him to see the paed. LOL. Fever is not something you should take for granted, true, especially in very young children, but you shouldn't panic too easily either. Know what works or could work for your kids, and you will be more confident to tackle their issues. 

If you are against modern medicine, you can stop reading now. I am the type that will go with whatever that works for my family so yeah that includes liquid PCM, suppository med, essential oils, honey, chicken soup, lotsa plain water and lotsa hugs. As a mommy, it'd best to have these on stand-by: digital thermometer, liquid PCM & supp. 

Sponge till it drops!

The moment your kid's temp reaches 37.5c, take off his clothing and start sponging, using sponge or soft cloth, soaked in room temp water. Trust me his temp would drop immediately. Pay more attention to armpits, joints, behind ears and private areas. 

"Medicines are like colouful little doctors" - Hadi 

Administer some liquid PCM (check kids weight for dosage). If it's night time, insert a supp as well (this is a protocol taught by our family doctor). Give PCM every 4 hourly if necessary. Sponge every now and then. Make him drink lotsa plain water. Give some honey. Feed him homemade chicken soup and give lots of hugs. Oh and force them to sleep / rest. 

Rub a dub dub

If you're into essential oils, lavender, lemon, peppermint and/or eucalyptus can be diluted with carrier oil (I usually use organic VCO) & be massaged on your kids' feet bottom, base of the neck, temple. They can also be diffused; your house will smell fresh and nice too. Some mommies use lemons socks (put lemon slice inside socks and make kids wear them) but this never work with my kids because they hated it. Well, I would too. 

If after all these protocols have been done and still the fever doesn't subside, take him to see a doctor for blood test and all that. Better safe than sorry! Oh and mommies, be prepared to hear LOTSA WHINING. They come with that, yes.

LOL. And be sure it isn't just that before you let them skip school.

All you need is love.

This is from my previous blog, Neurotically Speaking, a simple illustrated list for new mommies on what your teeny tiny newborn would need in the first few months of life. But really, all they realllllyyyy need is you!